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By Dr. Ava Cadell. Sometimes introducing a third person is exactly what you both want to keep your sex life fresh with novelty.

How to make a threesome happen

Engaging in a threesome can be one of the most memorable sexual experiences a couple can have, but make sure the memories are positive. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for resentments and jealousy.

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Laying down a basic set of guidelines allows more freedom in the moment. Be clear with your request, and expect some back and forth so that you can all get to know each other.

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Another alternative for finding a third is to go to a bar, swing club or even a BDSM dungeon with the intention of picking up another person who might be interested in participating in a consensual three-way experience. In the heat of the moment, you might need a safe way to stop the action.

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Try this "Want, Will, Won't" exercise for sexual activities during the negotiation process. My clients have found it to be a very useful jumping off point for opening up the lines of communication and encouraging each party to fully express their desires and boundaries. The first slide shows what the desires and boundaries mean, and the second slide is filled in with items from a sexual menu.

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Planning a sexy night for three-way sex can be a lot of fun. For some flirty conversation, try topics like turns on and turn offs, or show and tell. Play some icebreaker adult games such as Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare or Strip Poker to get everyone in the mood for naughtiness. Be sure to have plenty of condoms, lube and some sex toys on hand to keep the party playful. Always change condoms when going from anal to vaginal and never share sex toys, so have plenty of each at hand. Take turns getting and giving a four-handed massage to relax and then arouse by exploring all of the erogenous zones from head to toe.

Organic coconut oil is smooth and silky on the skin, as is massage glide, or warming and cooling, can increase sensitivity and flavored massage products can be a tasty treat for the giver of pleasure, just as much as the receiver.

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Say things to make your partner feel confident. Never leave anyone out.

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Threesome Sex Positions. This is one of the top fantasies for menbut lots of women are game to let their man watch them with another woman.

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A hot sexual position is for the man to enter his partner in doggy style while she goes down on the other woman. Alternatively, he can be getting a blowjob from the new woman while his partner sits on his face.

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And of course, there are endless combinations of inspired positions to please everyone. This female sex fantasy can result in double penetration and one of the best positions for that is for one man to lay on his back so the woman can sit on him in cowgirl position while the other man inserts his penis from behind her for anal penetration, as she leans forward.

This is known as an MFM threesome experience, and of course, there are many other sexual positions that include oral pleasures for everyone. Adding sex toys into your threesome can prolong the experience, add extra visual eroticism and playfulness.

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It can help women have orgasms more easily and allow men to take the pressure off the demand on their erections. You can even consider giving your third a sex toy to take home as a memento of the occasion. Some of my favorite sex toys for threesomes are The Screaming O cock ringWe-Vibe wearable vibrator and of course, an adjustable strap-on with a harness.

Describe to each other what the third person would be doing, and how.

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Look at this pros and cons list with your partner to help make the decision together about whether or not to try a threesome. After reviewing the list above, ask each other how important a threesome is to each of you on a scale of one to ten. This article was originally published at Sexpert. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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